Conquer the Household Mail and Paper Demon

Households are bombarded with paper on a daily basis. Bills, statements, pay stubs, calendars, schedules, menus and permission slips seem innocent enough individually, but when joined with the other piles of unattended paperwork, they can form an army that overwhelms even the best defenses.

But you shouldn’t feel defenseless against this persistent warrior.  With an organized plan of attack and some disciplined strategy, the paperwork enemy can be conquered and tamed.

First of all, take a look at the type of paperwork that’s overwhelming you the most.  Is it those bills that go unpaid when you can’t locate them?

Is it the mounds of artwork your children have lovingly created and decorated your refrigerator with?  Maybe it’s the constantly changing soccer schedule or troop meetings.

Once you determined the most invasive paper culprit or culprits, it’s time to line them up and sort them out.  A successful filling system has three main components.

A file for those things that need to be acted on immediately, one for those that are part of a household’s ongoing management, and one for those that are more infrequent but nevertheless crucial, such as tax records, insurance policies, wills, and home maintenance documents.

When conquering the paperwork monster, make a promise to yourself to deal with each item the first time you handle it.  Get out of the habit of rifling through your mail and tossing it aside.

Set aside time each day to open mail, go through paperwork in your inbox and sort and file appropriately.  Decide if each item is something to be paid, something to be done, or something to be filed.

At the end of each week, take out each file and respond appropriately by paying the bill, responding to the request, or moving items that need to be filed into their permanent locations.

Of course, if you know something is urgent and can’t wait until week’s end, clip it to the front of your file box or place it in front in a folder labeled Urgent and act accordingly.

Save telephone time by keeping calendars, schedules, take-out menus and phone lists into clear page protectors in a 3-ring binder.   Flip through the household notebook to quickly check meeting dates or find phone numbers.

Create your own forms, or use our free printable Household Notebook forms. This is also a great place to put correspondence addressed to the entire family.

Organize magazines and newspapers into baskets kept near couches and living room chairs for people to look at during their free time.

Be sure to keep in the habit of sorting through this on a regular basis and filing those magazines you decide to keep and tossing old newspapers and magazines you wish you toss.

Clutter Quickly Grows With Procrastination…And Even Kills!

The most common problem most people have with getting rid of clutter and getting organized is not knowing how to begin or where to get started.

So it gets put off until…later.

Of course, the reasons are usually decent.

For one, there’s a lot going on in our lives. We go in so many directions and there never seems to be enough time to get anything done.

And it’s easier to put organizing off because you think it’ll take up too much time right now.

The other priorities — like eating and sleeping (minor things, right?) of course take first on the list.

But getting organized doesn’t have to take a lot of time every single day.

And if you don’t start getting organized, even just a little bit at a time, there are some very real negative affects that, well, could kill you.

A little drastic… I know.

But the affect clutter and disorganization has on your health is very, very real.

It adds stress to your already busy life.

It sucks away your energy and makes you tired.

In many people, it increases the symptoms of depression.

But enough of the negative stuff!

Here’s how we can benefit from being organized and getting rid of clutter…

-More sleep.

-A better mood every day.

-Better relationships.

-Easier house management.

-Your bills get paid on time.

-More space.

-More time to do things you actually enjoy!

This is all very real stuff and getting organized should not be put on the back burner any longer.

But I know…it’s still too easy to put it off for “later.”

I will admit, the here and now makes it easier to pile things on the counter, on chairs and tables or toss things in closets and drawers.

It’s too easy to put things down and ignore my simple and important rule of “touch it once.”

Though, like I said earlier…clutter can be deadly.

No joke.

Back in January of this year a 62 year old woman from Washington was found dead under nearly six feet of dishes, boxes and “clutter” that apparently collapsed on her.

A very sad, and very drastic story.

Take this poor woman’s life back about thirty years. How many days went by when she procrastinated and said she would “get to it tomorrow.”

Now I hope your situation is not as drastic but reality is reality. And unless you get things under control right away, you just don’t know what a disorganized house can lead to.

At the very least I bet you’re feeling stressed and a little frustrated with a real desire to simplify your life at home.

It’s not a lot to ask, is it?

And we all know stress is not good.

But maybe your situation isn’t so out-of-control, and you just want to get rid of clutter and get your things in order.

Or you need to manage papers better because once in a while you forget to pay a bill that was sitting somewhere in a pile (because you don’t have a real system for your bills — which you need.)

No big deal, right?

After all, what’s a $5 payment here or a $35 late fee there?

It adds up.

So how ’bout you take a step towards ending clutter in your home and getting organized…before it kills you?

Addiction to Clutter

Clutter is a big problem for many people. At a lecture that I gave, I asked for a show of hands regarding how many people had problems with clutter and disorganization. I was surprised to find that at least half the people raised their hands.

One of my clients told me that she was trying to help her sister get back on her feet after her sister had been laid up with an illness and lost her job. Her sister’s house had always been a mess, and had become so filled with clutter that there was no place to walk or sit. My client, Rebecca, offered to buy her sister a car if she would clean up her house. Rebecca even offered to help her sister clean up the house. Rebecca was shocked when her sister refused the offer, even though she desperately needed the car. He sister was unwilling to get rid of the clutter.

Why? Why was the “stuff” so important to her?

Underneath all addictions lies fear – of emptiness, helplessness, loneliness and aloneness. Addictions are a way to feel safe from feeling these difficult and painful feelings, and an addiction to clutter is no exception. It’s all about having a sense of control over feeling safe. Clutter, like all addictions, provides a momentary feeling of comfort. However, as with any addiction, the clutterer needs more and more clutter to maintain the illusion of safety and comfort.

When my mother died and my son was cleaning out her house, he discovered huge amounts of clutter. While my mother’s house always looked neat and clean, the cupboards and drawers were filled with clutter. My son told me he found 6 broken hair dryers in one cabinet. Why would my mother want to keep six broken hair dryers?

My mother grew up during the depression and always had a fear of not having enough. No matter how much she accumulated materially, she never felt that she had enough. The six hair dryers made her feel safe from her fear, even if they didn’t work.

Carrie has trouble throwing things away, especially magazines with “important’ information in them. She subscribes to many magazines but, being the mother of three small children, doesn’t often have the time to read them. So the magazines pile up and pile up. Carrie hopes at some point to have the time to read them, but that time never seems to come. When asked why she won’t throw them out, her answer is, “Because there might be something important in them and I don’t want to miss it.” Carrie fears missing out on some important piece of information – information that may give her the peace she is seeking. It makes her feel safer and in control to have all the magazines around her with their important information, even if she never gets to read them.

When we don’t feel safe on the inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on the outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it’s things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat.

HEALING THE ADDICTION TO CLUTTER

Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, the wounded self – the part that operates from the illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of the decisions, the clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and the illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled.

Healing occurs when the individual does the inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is the aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from the false beliefs of the wounded self, and knows that the comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion – that no matter how much clutter accumulates, the clutterer still feels afraid. The loving Adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to the guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one’s own behalf can create a sense of inner safety.

Practicing the six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.